A brief thinky post on the Wiscon situation and disinviting EMoon as GOH

This will be brief and entirely ineloquent because I am sick and cannot brain well. In short, disinviting E Moon as GOH is NOT FUCKING SILENCING HER! Reposting her own words for the world to see is NOT BULLYING HER! All these people whinging about how evil the mean brown people are, how they wheedled the comcon into disinviting her to be GOH need to just shut the fuck up, as in NOW.

I’m tired of people crying about Moon being silenced, and persecuted and all that other bullshit. She shat on the living room carpet, threw a blanket over it and continued to act as if there was nothing there. Her continued silence, refusal to discuss the issue and then the concom taking a while to make up their minds while staying conspicuously quiet is the issue.

I’m sick of people throwing tantrums in the Wiscon LJ comm about how meen this was, and rude, etc etc to disinvite Moon and stamping their feet and saying they aren’t coming now because the Con obviously isn’t for them.

GOOD, I don’t want my con experience ruined by whiny ass people who think its all about them and can’t see why Moon’s screed was so damn problematic. Also, if you can’t realize how much her words hurt our Muslim sisters and brothers, then I suggest you revisit Civics class, Privilege and Classism as well as Racism 101.

Many, many other people have said their piece on why the whole issue and how it was handled is problematic. See the wiscon, karnythia, yuki_onna, nojojojo and K. Tempest Bradford sums up my feelings perfectly with You People are out of your Goddamned Minds

Neither Here or Nor there, how far she’s come

Just got linked to this post about a new film on trans-racial adoptions. It’s called Neither Here nor There, How far she’s come. It’s chilling to read the bits about how the adoptive mother grills her new “daughter” on English to the point where the girl is exhausted and asks to go home in Chinese. It’s disgusting that this woman who seems to have adopted Chinese daughters as trophies of her “goodness” & color-blindness rather than trying to actually help these young girls from any sense of doing what’s right for another human being. It will premiere in the US in PBS on August 31 and I’ll be watching.

I find it telling that the girl lose all of her Chinese, and is constantly compared to the other little girl that this woman has adopted. I’ve got a lot of opinions on trans-racial adoptions most of which are not particularly pleasant or thoughtful. But one constant seems to be that I come across folks online that adopt babies and children of color and/or not of their nationality as trophies of their goodness, color blindness and look at me saving those poor brown folks, giving them a “better life” albeit one modeled on the “norms” of white, American and forgetful of their roots.

Granted, not everyone that adopts outside of their race/nationality has such ulterior motives or means well, 9/10 of our reality is perception not truth. All I can base my perceptions on is what I see.  Too often I see white women who adopt brown and other non-white children, with no thoughts as to what that child will deal with when they are older, when the differences between “mommy” and the child can no longer be swept under the rug. Or what they will do when that child comes home after being called a racial slur for the first time, or worse if they witness racism committed against their adopted child and they have no coping mechanisms to pass on, no advice since they’ve never had the honor of shopping while black, or driving while black or having so many assumptions made on your intelligence, abilities, etc because of the color of your skin and all the baggage that comes with it.

It’s a heavy burden to bear and I wish people would weigh the luggage they are going to take on when they adopt that poc/non-white child along with the idea that they are doing their part by “saving these poor kids” from their poor roots. In my humble opinion, it would help everyone be prepared for what will come as these children grow up in a society that is anything but post-racial and color blind despite having a black POTUS.

Bah, I’m getting rambly and unfocused but I hope you got my point. If not feel free to say so in the comments.

Keep it civil or I’ll boot you so fuckin fast your head will spin away like the Tardis.

repost of Being a Black Woman and Happy with it.

On a happier note, here’s a kick ass post from the awesome Karnythia. Linking you to the ABW post.

So, there’s this thing happening in the black American community (and outside it) where women who look like me are supposed to be grateful for any crumbs that happen to fall into our bleak little lives. Apparently, our lot in life is to be miserable unless some rich educated black man wants us. We’re struggling to survive on our own in a world where we might have to actually be self supporting and self loving, and we don’t even have the good sense to realize that it’s impossible to be happy with ourselves as long as we’re not reflecting the picture society expects. After all, such stellar catches as Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, and Michael Jordan have opted to seek out women of a…lighter persuasion rather than black women.

It’s questionable enough that anyone believes that three dudes who wouldn’t understand fidelity if it walked up to them and sat in their laps being unavailable to black women is supposed to be a clear indicator that black women aren’t valuable. Erm, how to put this politely? Oh right, I’m not in a mood to be polite so I’ll just say flat out I wouldn’t touch any of those cats with my worst enemy’s vagina mmkay? I have standards for the men in my life that include things like trust, respect, and at least a vague grasp of human decency. For the record? I’ve been married twice. The first time was a hot mess in that way that can happen when you’re 21 and too dumb to read the big flashing neon signs that say “Leave this dumb bastard alone” but my current marriage? Loving it. He’s black, educated, and has a good relationship with his mother. It wasn’t hard to find him (I wasn’t even done with my divorce when I met him as a matter of fact) and he has never expected me to be someone else. He loves me for me. I love him for him. That’s our big secret. We’re not unique in this respect either. There are plenty of happy black couples (married or not) out here leading their lives without feeling the need to resort to a Stepford process for either partner. That’s before we get into what it means to be LGBT and unable to legally get married in a lot of places. Newsflash: Not every black woman wants a man. And even for the ones that do? Marriage isn’t necessarily their first priority.

Now, let’s take a second to be real on the topic of marriage. The institution grants certain legal protections and rights, but it doesn’t guarantee a happy couple or even a long lasting relationship. For further proof on that topic feel free to check out the relationship history of the three celebs I’ve already mentioned along with Swizz Beatz, everyone on Basketball Wives, and most of the rest of the modern world. That 50% divorce rate has nothing to do with the flaws of black women and everything to do with the reality that people get married for the wrong reasons to the wrong people everyday. As societal panaceas go, marriage has never really been all that effective despite the hype about the good old days. In the good old days, women got stuck in horrible relationships, men brought home social diseases, and everyone wished they had way out that was socially acceptable and didn’t result in life long poverty. So, let’s drop this idea that marriage has ever been the institution to grant us a stable society. It can’t even grant a stable relationship. And really, if we’re going to harp on the value of marriage? Let’s make it available to everyone instead of offering up expensive substitutes and insisting marriage only has one meaning. If some pop star can get married for 56 hours and the institution still have meaning in the aftermath of that quickie divorce? It’ll be just fine.

This phenomenon doesn’t just rear its ugly head around our love lives though, we’re also supposed to hate our hair, our skin, even the shape of our bodies, and we’re supposed to strive to achieve behavior patterns that are in direct contradiction to our personalities as soon as someone hints that they find us too strong/abrasive/angry/loud or whatever other bullshit excuse they can trot out as part of the effort to denigrate and demean every facet of our existence. After all, we do insist on wearing our hair the way it grows out of our heads, and choosing colors and styles that highlight our skin tones as well as displaying our bodies in ways that we find flattering. I mean, whoever heard of someone wearing a sleeveless top indoors in the winter? Oh wait, I lift weights (and kids) on a regular basis and I also wear short sleeved or sleeveless tops most of the year too. Because they’re comfortable and I like them. And really, what gives anyone the right to police our bodies as though they don’t belong to us? Whoops, I forgot I’m supposed to be begging everyone else for their approval as part and parcel of my experience right? Right.

Except that’s not ever going to happen and the fact that a lot of people are assholes isn’t a reason for black women to turn themselves inside out. It is a good reason to ignore the assholes and keep going about the business of life. Yes, even with “nappy” hair, my natural eye color, and an ass that makes skinny jeans self-destruct I am happy to be a black woman. I love myself, and I love my life even if someone says I’m living it wrong. Instead of finding new ways to insist that to be a black woman is to be miserable, how about celebrating all those unique qualities that are inherent in our shared existence? Oh right, that would require putting down all those ‘ism’s people love to cling to wouldn’t it? I guess if you can’t give up the sexism, racism, and classism then we’ll just have to learn to live with the hate and keep doing our own thing.

The privilege of having health insurance

I’ve been watching and reading about the “debate” on national health care that’s going on in the US as someone who’s waiting for it to boil out of control or for someone to actually have a debate and stop screeching at the top of their lungs at every opportunity.

I’ve seen the folks who are disrupting meetings no matter what side they land on be it pro or con. This is not the way to get your point across people. It makes the opposing side look at you sideways and secretly signal for security to sweep you out the door.

I titled this the privilege of having health insurance because I was gobsmacked at how much drugs cost when you don’t have insurance yesterday. I say gobsmacked because I’m not someone who has to take meds constantly or has had serious medical issues in the 36 years I’ve been on this planet. I recently decided to get back on the Pill and I’ve always had insurance so I’ve never thought much of the $10, $15 or even $20 co-pay that I’d shell out every month. This time around I switched to Seasonale, a 3 month on, 1 month off extended cycle Pill and the first time I got it the pharmacy gave me the Generic Quasense. That only cost me $35, I went on my merry way for the next 90 days.

This time I asked for the name brand because of side effects and had to shell out $65. What stopped me cold was the cheerful information at the top of the prescription bag telling me I’d saved $195.00 because I have insurance. I had to text my partner because I just could not believe something as essential as a contraceptive could cost so much for an uninsured woman. Who the hell can afford to shell out $256 every three months in this day and age? Maybe a married woman, but she’s likely to have insurance from her job or her spouses job. The average person who is uninsured likely does not have that kind of money for medications, what the hell is wrong on this country when pharmaceutical companies can charge that kind of money for medication that is essential to some women.

But this makes me wonder about the woman who needs the Pill to stave off Fibroids, regulate her cycle or other reasons that aren’t purely for contraception. What about the woman who’s barely making a living wage from a job that may not offer insurance or may not cover something like contraceptives? What about the woman who may need to make the choice that month between the Pill and the electric and gas bills?

It sickens me that the drug industry has gotten to the point where they can charge such outrageous sums of money for drugs that the public needs. As for drugs the public wants, that’s a whole other story. When I read that triple digit number on my pharmacy bag, it firmly cemented the need for health care reform in this country. Those that want to keep the status quo are probably the ones benefiting the most from it.

If you haven’t made up your mind on this issue, I ask you to look into what it costs people who have no insurance for care or medication. Think about what you have and how lucky you are to have it; but also think about how it can be better for everyone in this country to be able to get health care when they need it and not only those with the privilege of being a card caring insured member of society.

My $2.00 worth on White Privilege

After discussions, upon discussions where sometimes I feel like the person I’m talking with genuinely “gets it” and many other times where people just can’t/won’t/refuse to understand their privilege, I’ve decided to spell it out for people and hope they actually read, comprehend and think about what’s coming in this post.

What’s about to be said here is based on MY experiences, what I’ve read by other people who have done research on the topic and who have shared their insights with me over the years. This is fueled by hearing one time too many.. but I’m POOR  I can’t be privileged! I don’t treat people like that, stop accusing me of being racist! etc….

A note to those who want to claim.. but I didn’t know it was racist!

For the edification of the few dumbasses who still want to claim.. but I didn’t know (insert phrase/imagery/well known historical fact) had a racist connotation! Really!!!! Here’s some facts for you:

1. Watermelons + black folks = RACIST IMAGERY Saying you had no idea? Makes you out to be a dumbass racist, or at the very least a total dumbass who doesn’t know any history.

2. Monkeys + black folks = RACIST IMAGERY For example.. the now infamous Delonas cartoon in that rag the NY Post

3. Calling a grown man or woman boy, gal, or anything other than their names… racist you fuckwads. Example: McCain calling Obama “That One” during the 2nd debate

4. Wearing blackface… NOT OK, NOT OK, NOT FUCKING OK. It wasn’t ok when it was an accepted form of “entertainment” and it sure as fuck isn’t OK now. Just don’t do it (I’m looking at you JAPAN)

5. Tossing around images of Nooses, bonus points for throwing in the words lynch, lynching, lynchmob. In case you need an example.. the photoshopped piece that went around suggesting a “solution” to the Obama problem.

6. Lots of verbiage that should just stop being used. Nigger obviously, porchmonkey and its variants… coon, coon dog, and the phrase knowing your place. Doing it for a laugh or trying to say well black say it why can’t I will get you a bitchslap for your troubles.

Anything I’m missing?

On Twilight, Romance and Antifeminist ideas, via ShapelyProse

Shapely Prose has a very good article on just how fucked up the relationship dynamic in Twilight really is.

In full disclosure, I’ve never read the books and frankly have no interest in them, especially after reviews and the omg wtf is this shit reaction after the last book in the series was released. But I can relate to the dissection of how fucked up the relationship (if you can call it that) is between the two main characters.

Spoilers after the jump in case there is anyone out there whose reading and hasn’t read the books yet.

Pfleger spoke the truth, and now folks are pissed off

While I don’t agree with the method of delivery by Reverend Pfleger, I do agree with the message. Why is no one talking about McCain’s hateful minister? Hmmm?

Rev. Pfleger: ‘They want to kill me…it’s been ugly’

June 1, 2008

Recommend (37)

BY DAVE NEWBART Staff Reporter

The Rev. Michael Pfleger, who helped reignite Barack Obama’s pastor problems by mocking Hillary Clinton, said this evening he’s received “thousands of hate threats” since his videotaped pulpit rant.

“They want to kill me,” Pfleger told parishioners during a service in a St. Sabina Church chapel on Chicago’s South Side this evening. “It’s been very ugly.”

» Click to enlarge image

Rev. Michael Pfleger said he’s received “thousands of hate threats” since his taped pulpit rant.
(AP file)

What do whites fear about blacks?

This is an old forum inquiry on the Tribunes’s Exploring Race forum. The link to the actual question post is MIA (probably too old to find online) but the comments are there.

Here’s a link to the comments.

So, tell me what do you think whites fear about blacks if anything? But for my own sanity, stop using that PC bullshit African American terminology.

Harold of H&K Red Eye interview

Q+A: John Cho

Our favorite half of ‘Harold & Kumar’ tells all about the sequel four years in the making

By Jiyeon Yoo

Some movies are so successful that sequels are rushed into production to cash in as fast as possible. That was most definitely not the case with “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.”

The stoner comedy earned a measly $18 million when it was released in 2004—hardly the kind of numbers that give studio executives contact highs. But the reviews were good and word of mouth was even better, and slowly but surely “Harold & Kumar” built a loyal following on DVD.

Now the pothead buddies, embodied so inimitably by John Cho and Kal Penn, are back to prove their box office prowess with “Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.” The sequel, written and directed by the original film’s writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, finds H&K at the mercy of Federal agents who believe the happy-go-lucky duo are terrorists after they’re caught trying to smuggle a bong onto a plane.

Thus wisdom is spread to the masses…

Skin, bits, issues and voting at Angry Black Woman.  By the most awesome Karnythia

Karnythia is guest blogging at ABW. She has summed up my feelings on the election madness much better than I ever could.  full text of the piece under the cut.